Explaining Borderline Personality Disorder Like I'm Five

Imagine you have a friend who sometimes feels sad, gets upset easily, or gets angry without reason. This friend might need help making friends or keeping them. If your friend is like this, they might have something called Borderline Personality Disorder, or BPD for short. In this article, we'll talk about BPD, why some people have it, and how we can help them feel better.


What Happens When Someone Has BPD?

When someone has BPD, their emotions are on a rollercoaster that goes up and down fast. They can have a hard time controlling their feelings, and sometimes they might act in confusing or scary ways. Here are some things that can happen when someone has BPD:

  1. Big mood swings: People with BPD might feel very happy one minute and very sad the next. It can be hard for them to understand why they feel this way, making it difficult for others to know how to help them.
  2. Fear of being alone: People with BPD often worry that their friends or family will leave them. This fear can make them act in ways that push people away, like getting angry or not trusting their friends.
  3. The trouble with friendships: Because people with BPD have difficulty understanding their feelings and the feelings of others, they might have difficulty making friends or keeping them. They may argue with their friends a lot or feel like their friends don't like them anymore.
  4. Impulsive behavior: Sometimes, people with BPD might do things without considering the consequences. They might say things they don't mean or do things that could be dangerous, like running into the street without looking.
  5. Feeling empty or lost: People with BPD might feel like something is missing or they don't know who they are. This can make them feel very sad and lonely.
  6. The trouble with school or work: Because BPD can make it hard to focus and control emotions, people with BPD might have difficulty doing well at school or work. They might get in trouble for not following the rules or struggling with their classmates or coworkers.

When someone has BPD, it can be hard to understand why they feel the way they do and how to improve things. But with help from grown-ups and friends, they can learn to manage their feelings and have happier, healthier lives.


Why Do Some People Have BPD?

BPD is a complicated condition, and scientists and doctors are still learning about what causes it. While there isn't just one reason why someone might have BPD, we know a few things can make it more likely for someone to develop this condition. Some of these reasons include:

  1. Brain differences: People with BPD might have brains that work differently than other people's brains. These differences can be caused by things like genes or how their brains developed as they were growing up. Their brains might have difficulty controlling emotions, understanding other people's feelings, or making decisions.
  2. Family history: If someone in a person's family, like a parent or sibling, has BPD or another mental health condition, it might make it more likely for them to have BPD too. This could be because they share the same genes or grew up in a similar environment.
  3. Difficult experiences: Sometimes, people who have BPD have experienced tough or scary things in their life, like being bullied, having parents who fight a lot, or losing someone they love. These experiences can make it harder for them to understand and manage their feelings, leading to BPD.
  4. Emotional sensitivity: Some people are born more sensitive to emotions than others. This means they can feel things very strongly and have a harder time calming down when upset. Being emotionally sensitive can make it more likely for someone to develop BPD, especially if they've also had difficult experiences in their life.

It's important to remember that having one or even a few factors doesn't mean someone will have BPD. It's a combination of different things that can make someone more likely to develop this condition. And just like every person is unique, each person with BPD might have a different combination of factors contributing to their condition.


How Can We Help Someone with BPD Feel Better?

Helping someone with BPD feel better might seem tricky, but there are things we can do to support them and make it easier for them to manage their feelings. Here are some ways we can help:

  1. Be patient: When our friend with BPD gets upset or angry, staying calm and patient is important. They might need some time to feel better, so try not to get upset with them or make them feel worse.
  2. Listen: Listening is a powerful way to show our friends we care. When they're sad, scared, or angry, we can try to understand how they feel by listening to what they say. We don't need all the answers, but being there for them can make a big difference.
  3. Be kind: Kindness can go a long way in making our friends feel more comfortable and safe around us. Show them we care by offering kind words or gestures, like hugging them, making a card, or just sitting with them when they feel down.
  4. Encourage them to get help: If our friend is having a really hard time, they might need to talk to a grown-up, like a teacher, parent, or counselor, who can help them feel better. We can encourage them to reach out for help when they need it.
  5. Learn about BPD: The more we know about BPD, the better we can understand and help our friends. We can ask grown-ups, read books, or watch videos to learn more about BPD and what our friend is going through.
  6. Set boundaries: It's important to take care of ourselves too. If our friend's behavior makes us feel scared or uncomfortable, we should talk to a grown-up about it. It's okay to let our friends know that we sometimes need a break or some space.
  7. Include them in activities: People with BPD can sometimes feel left out or lonely. We can help them feel better by including them in activities like playing games, watching movies, or hanging out together.

Remember, helping someone with BPD feel better might not always be easy, but trying our best is important. We can make a big difference in our friend's life with patience, kindness, and understanding.


Being a Good Friend to Someone with BPD

Having a friend with BPD can be hard sometimes, but it's important to remember that they need friends just like everyone else. If we can be patient, kind, and understanding, we can help our friends feel better and have a happier life. And who knows, maybe we'll learn something new about ourselves along the way!

Grouport Offers BPD Group Support Online & DBT Skills Groups Online

Grouport Therapy delivers online Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) group support for individuals grappling with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Our virtual group sessions guide members in integrating diverse psychotherapy methods, including DBT, into their routines, empowering them to communicate and articulate themselves more effectively.


This therapeutic approach bolsters self-awareness and emotional management by employing mindfulness and acceptance, curbing destructive behaviors, and fostering better interpersonal bonds.

A certified therapist leads weekly remote group meetings, allowing members to participate from their own homes. Based on participant feedback, 70% observed considerable improvements within 8 weeks.


You don't have to tackle these difficulties singlehandedly.  Register for one of our groups today and commence your journey towards impactful, lasting personal growth and renewed hope. Join our supportive community and collaborate in pursuit of a brighter future.

Facilitated by a therapist-instructor, this online group imparts essential new techniques to substitute behaviors and emotions that create friction in your daily life and relationships.

You can learn more about the structure of our dialectical behavior skills groups here that kick off with intensive DBT Core Principles modules, which will help you begin to transform your mental health.

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